


Only Human After All

by sailorvaporeon



Category: South Park
Genre: I'm so pissed my summary wouldnt fit, Kenny isnt trans so dont get ur panties in a twist I promise ill explain later, M/M, Planning to be long, Slow Burn, an epic of sorts, every couple will get their own plotline, goddiggity damn it, loosely based on the stick of truth, very very loosely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:18:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailorvaporeon/pseuds/sailorvaporeon
Summary: Fighting for King Cartman wasn't exactly as prestigious as many commoners would lead one to believe. Craig Tucker, a street thief turned Royal Warrior, with a small band of fighters including his friends Cleric Token and armory advisor Clyde, sets out into the woods of South Park to destroy a small rebel band that has been bothering the King and his daughter. Little did he expect to meet one of the most interesting race of people in his life, lead by the most fascinating warrior he has ever had the pleasure of fighting against.(FULL SUMMARY IN CHAPTER 1)





	1. EXTENDED SUMMARY

Fighting for King Cartman wasn't exactly as prestigious as many commoners would lead one to believe. Craig Tucker, a street thief turned Royal Warrior, with a small band of fighters including his friends Cleric Token and armory advisor Clyde, sets out into the woods of South Park to destroy a small rebel band that has been bothering the King and his daughter. Little did he expect to meet one of the most interesting race of people in his life, lead by the most fascinating warrior he has ever had the pleasure of fighting against.  
-  
Paladin Butters isn't sure how he became the spokesperson for his fellow Evergreen mercenaries, but as he finds himself standing in front of the King of South Park, the Lord Eric Cartman, he can't help but find his attention slipping to the wrong place. While the other mercenaries have trouble finding a reason to stay loyal to the King, Butters finds his reason in the person sitting to the King's left, the King's daughter, Kenna. Infatuated with the notorious flirt, Butters finds himself swearing to Kenna to make his name famous enough to one day take the princess' hand in marriage. Good thing she found that funny...  
-  
Kyle became the High Jew Elf after his father passed, an expected but hard event that changed his life. Luckily, he had his childhood friend and bodyguard, Stan Marsh, there to soften the blow. A genius at books but inexperienced on the field, Kyle finds that, instead of war strategies, most of his mental energy is spent reasoning out why Stan has been spending so much time with Wendy, the leader of the Valkyrie, an indispensable chunk of Kyle’s army. I mean, sure, Stan was the Kingsguard, and was in control of the whole of the Elf army, but that didn’t mean he had to have dinner with her too, right?


	2. Fascinating Creatures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so ao3 doesn't let you copy-paste italics.... so ya if some of the words look really out of place just imagine them italicized then maybe they'll make sense
> 
> -Craig-

“Craig, do you really think this will be ok?”

Clyde Donovan padded along next to him, his average height friend struggling to keep up with his long strides.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

His voice was monotone. This emotionless response did not phase the spunky brunette next to him though; he continued the conversation with the flow of a familiar friend.

“I feel underprepared. This influx of new recruits has kept me in the shop twenty-four seven, I feel like I haven’t had any time to repair any weapons for the vets or anything!”

“The vets don’t need their swords repaired every other day.”

“But what if they do? That’s the problem Craig, I don’t know if they need my help or not. All I’m ever told nowadays is ‘Jimmy broke his sword again’ or ‘Hey my friend Timmy wants to know how much it would cost to custom carve his handle’, nothing important!”

Clyde mocked the different kids as they continued to walk. The air was getting fresher in the stone hallway, an indicator as to their closeness to the courtyard. Craig allowed his friend to continue to ramble, the man clearly needed to get the anger out of his system. Not that any of his words were really angry; Craig wasn’t sure if Clyde had the ability to feel anger.

As they entered the courtyard Craig felt his eyes instinctively squint. Thankfully the sun was setting, but as it declined in the sky the rays still found a way to blind the open enclosure. 

The courtyard was a front lawn to the King’s Castle, Kupa Keep, and was currently filled with warriors of all different types. Mages enchanted sets of armor in one corner while Assassins took turns throwing knives as close to each other's heads as they could in the other. Although the setting sun sent shadows to settle across the green yard, the general hustle and bustle of the people kept the melancholy feel of Craig’s typical raids at bay. While technically an Assassin himself, he kept his title as Thief thanks to his repeated leadership over sneaky night-time masquerades that had the Elves writing songs about them. His personal favorite (from what he had heard) was “watch out for the Humans, they come in the night, with their knives and their smiles, they’ll give you a fright”. This courtyard was a total contrast from his norm though, and he couldn’t tell whether this was a good feeling or not.

“Craig.”

Clyde’s ranting subsided as a new voice called Craig’s name. This voice was more similar to Craig’s than Clyde’s, however this voice’s steady tone came more from a calm and calculated nature rather than Craig’s general disinterest.

Token Black was dressed in his battle robes, as opposed to his normal study robes. As a Cleric, Token tended to be a bit more into the study of magic rather than the skill of battle, though Craig would never say that Token was weak. Craig knew for a fact that Token packed a mean punch, especially when Craig almost got croissant crumbs in his books. Craig hadn’t understood why Token was so uptight about the books, and he really hadn’t cared enough to listen to his answer when he told him. Something about punctuality, Craig remembered vaguely.

“Could you come help me for a second?”

Craig only nodded, a bit tired out from talking to Clyde and not feeling enough pressure to force himself to talk to the black boy. That was one of the things Craig loved most about being Token’s friend, he could sit with him for hours and never let out a single word, and that was ok. Preferred, even.

Token led him to a rack of weapons, mostly consisting of daggers and other small blades.

“Can you hand these out to the Assassins, I’d do it but I have staffs for the Clerics, being an ‘educational leader’ or whatever. And if you could maybe ask your brown-haired friend to handle the archers, I know he’s not with them or anything but I’m pretty sure he handles the Armory?”

Craig gave a lazy “mmhm” to Token’s question and proceeded to collect the weapons as Token continued to list off what needed to be done. He wasn’t necessarily talking to Craig, but Craig stuck around to give him a someone to talk to. Craig could at least muster enough caring to do that much.

“Oh, yes, and I heard the Lady Kenna would be coming to give a speech of some kind, so be prepared to deal with that.”

Craig would have groaned if he wasn’t too focused on not rolling his eyes. Castle life was generally pretty comfortable, but the Lady Kenna truly did bring down the whole atmosphere. At least when he was on the streets he didn’t have cross-dressers hanging off his arm.

Craig made his rounds, handing out what needed to be handed out, remembering to grab Clyde like Token had asked. It crossed his mind that Token and Clyde hadn’t properly met each other yet, but the realization was pushed to the back of his mind as he watched a fight unfold between an Archer and a Mage. He of course ended the fight, though perhaps not in the most effective way; he’d already been yelled at a few times for flipping off new recruits.

Now, what was Craig actually doing tonight? He ran through the list in his brain as he mindlessly handed out weapons. Tonight was actually a collection of missions all being launched at the same time, hence the crowded courtyard. First off, Operation Collection was launching tonight. Operation Collection was just a simple patrol of some of the outermost cities of South Park. It existed so that the newbies could gain experience in combat without throwing them into direct battle against the Elves. Typical run-of-the-mill stuff. Operation Sting was also launching tonight. Craig had been told it was a collection of Clerics who were going to the Sting Mountains to study the wildlife, which was known for being able to consume poisonous plants without feeling any of the effects. Craig was surprised that Token would not be accompanying Operation Sting, that was until he heard what the final operation would be. Craig’s Operation: Operation Leaf. A small group consisting of Craig, Token, Clyde, and a myriad of other vets of varying skills would set off into the South Park woods, in search of a group of rebels. Labeled as terrorists by King Cartman, propaganda of the horrible acts these people were committing spread throughout the kingdom of South Park like a wildfire. One of the papers had included a handwritten note from the Lady Kenna, begging for strong men who would be willing to lay down their lives for the kingdom they so dearly loved, which explained the sudden influx of new recruits. Craig had found the note to be shallow and empty, but as he glanced around at the expectant faces of the new recruits, he could tell none of these men felt the same way about the Lady Kenna.

“Yoohoo~ Hello soldiers!”

Speak of the devil, he will come.

The Lady Kenna stood at the entrance to the castle, the elaborate stone archways framing her like a living art piece. The setting sun made her already golden hair appear to glow; little ringlets of hair fell from her two large braids, framing her face and softening her jaw. Which was a good thing, considering how much she needed it. While her eyes may have been soft, and her voice a permanent soprano from hours of voice training, there wasn't much she could do to conceal her jaw. The Adam’s Apple would’ve been a dead giveaway as well, if she wasn't smart enough to conceal that with a regal collar of lace. Her beautiful dress was a good cover too, resembling Victorian style, the skirt was large and poofy, giving the appearance of a feminine figure.

“I’ve come to give you all my blessings,” the Lady Kenna raised her hand to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears, “it would break my heart for one of you not to come back, please, my men, please stay safe,”

The Lady Kenna batted her eyelashes,

“For me.”

A murmur erupted from the crowd, and instantly every man started bowing, saying their thanks to the Lady for the heart-warming blessings. This praise brought a smile to the Lady’s face, and she began descending the steps to join her people in the courtyard. She fluttered between the men, hugging some and giving kisses to others. Somehow, she was able to seemingly touch every warrior in some way, and yet simultaneously float through the courtyard without a soul touching her, all too awed to even dare to disrupt a hair upon the Lady’s head. She eventually made her way to the opposite end of the courtyard where a sizeable wooden stage was planted, clearly there for speeches such as the one Craig knew was about to happen. She was helped onto the stage by a vet Mage, and as she rose above her people once again they all quieted down, as if on command.

“Men, I cannot stress how proud I am of all of you. Although tonight is mostly just a launching party for three different missions, any time you go out to risk your life for our kingdom, you deserve recognition,” the Lady Kenna paused to allow the cheering to subside. A man in the crowd called “we love you Lady!”, and she flashed him a beautiful smile, one that reminded Craig why people followed her, even to their death.

“I think, oh I hope we have enough time,” she glanced to the vet Mage, who gave her a simple nod.

“Oh yay, we do!” the Lady clapped her hands together and turned back to her audience.

“I think it would be appropriate to address every mission specifically, and honor every group going into it.

“Firstly, Operation Collection, you guys are the nine-hundred and tenth mission ever! Isn’t that a fun fact? I understand that many of you see this as a mission for newbies, and well, I don’t want to lie to you boys, it kind of is. But hey, that's not me letting you off~ You have to try your very, very best. Without the basics, nobody will get anywhere, so make sure you protect our beautiful country. I’m counting on you boys!

“Secondly, Operation Sting, a group of super-smart Clerics! I could never do what you all do, you’re all so talented, and such a vital resource to our kingdom. I cannot count the amount of battles we would have lost if it weren't for our talented force of Clerics at our side, truly unrecognized heroes. Everybody, tell a Cleric how much you respect them before they leave, make sure you show them all the love that's in my heart, it’ll mean more coming from their fellow men~

“Thirdly,”

The Lady Kenna took a pause, her eyes flickering over the crowd. Craig could feel a pit forming in his stomach. The feeling intensified as the Lady’s eyes met with his own, those bright blue irises locking onto him. The Lady Kenna’s entire body adjusted so that she was facing Craig, and even as her eyes lifted off his and scanned the crowd once again, it still felt as if she was speaking to Craig directly.

“Operation Leaf, led by Craig Tucker, a childhood friend of mine,”

Craig felt the pit grow as thousands of eyes were trained on him.

“An expedition into the woods of South Park, to find a pack of terrorists,” the Lady Kenna began tearing up again, however this time she powered through them,

“I cannot begin to express the pride I feel, knowing that some of the greatest people I’ve ever met are the ones who will be handling this most important of tasks. It makes me feel so safe to know when I wake up tomorrow morning this terrorist group will be gone, and that the kingdom of South Park will never have to deal with those monsters again!”

Immense cheering followed this statement, much to Craig’s dismay.

What have these people even done?

Craig knew what they did. They spoke out against the King, that's what they did. 

No, they did more than that…

That was also true. The group had killed innocent civilians, and that made them terrorists. Yes, Craig had to stop getting his feelings mixed into this.

“May South Park reign forever!”

And with that closing cry, the one Craig has heard a million times, the Lady Kenna stepped down once again from the podium. 

It was a good speech, Craig thought. The Lady was all too talented at these call to arms, most likely a byproduct of having to make so many. She was known throughout all of the kingdoms for being a gorgeous, kind-hearted, wonderful person, the kind of princess anyone would lay down their life for. She was one of the only things that kept people fighting for South Park.

Craig was sure as hell no one stuck around to fight for King Cartman.

Craig closed his eyes, feeling a headache begin to form. He never had to deal with these kinds of speeches on his normal operations, let alone be targeted specifically by the most popular girl in the kingdom. Luckily for him though, as he glanced around at his fellow soldiers, it seemed most had forgotten about the whole thing. As he wound his way through the crowd he got a few looks, but not enough to make travel impossible, and none from any of the people in his operation. It seemed like only the newbies were getting jealous. 

He was halfway to Token before he felt arms wrap around his torso, forcing him to a dead stop.

“Hello my Lady, how may I be of assistance?”

Craig fought to keep his voice deadpan, aware of all the new eyes upon him.

“Oh, silly Craig, did you really think you could escape me so easily?”

I sure fucking hoped.

“No my Lady, I was only off to help my fellow men pass out equipment.”

He was making eye contact with Token now. The black boy’s eyes held sympathy, but he made no move to come and rescue Craig.

“Sure you were~ come one now, face your princess!”

The arms unraveled themselves from around his waist, and he reluctantly spun to look at his Lady.

“There he is, my adorable little Thief~”

The Lady Kenna was as beautiful up close as she was from afar, save for the small scar that traced down the left side of her jaw. The Lady had expertly covered it up with her hair though, and Craig wouldn’t have known it was there if he wasn’t already acquainted with the princess. More acquainted than he wanted to be, in fact.

“A kiss for the road?”

“I couldn’t my lady, it would be inappropriate,” Craig shook his head vehemently. 

“Not at all, not for a dear friend~”

“I would rather not, my Lady,”

“Oh please, I insist!”

And with that the princess grabbed his shoulders and forced herself up to his face, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. Most girls would not be able to get even close to Craig’s face, being the lanky giant that he was, but the Lady Kenna was a bit taller than most women.

“Hehe,” the Lady Kenna didn’t pull away immediately, opting to stand on her tiptoes some more, her mouth directly next to Craig’s ear.

“I hope someone cuts that pretty little face of yours in that forest,” she whispered into his ear, her soprano voice still lilting along happily.

“You should really stuff that bra next time you come to greet soldiers, no hetero likes to hug a board,” he responded, careful to keep his voice as under-control as hers.

“Fuck you Tucker.”

“Fuck you too, my Lady.”

The Lady Kenna returned to the flats of her feet, her face finally a safe distance from Craig’s.

“Good luck!~”

And off she went, melting back into the crowd.

Craig struggled to keep his face from showing any of the anger he felt bubbling inside of him. Oh, how he despised the Lady Kenna, she was one of the only things that could get a reaction out of him, and she knew it too. Shaking his head, he made his way back over to Token, who was now idly chatting with Clyde.

“Glad to see you two are getting to know each other,” Craig spat, a bit of his anger slipping out in the presence of friends.

While Clyde’s face got a bit red at that, for some reason, Token just turned to him with calm eyes and a sincere tone.

“There was nothing we could have done Craig, you know that.”

“Ya Craig! Plus, what’s the big deal? You got a kiss from the Lady Kenna!”

Token side-eyed Clyde as his arms starting flailing, showing his excitement for his friend.

“Everyone’s gonna be so jealous of you now!”

Craig rolled his eyes. Of course Clyde wouldn’t understand the misery of being called out by the princess, he adored her as much as the newbie recruits. Then again, Clyde wasn’t usually the one he went to to rant about Kenny.

Kenna. Kenna, is what he meant. Kenna, Kenna, Kenna.

God, he really wished this was one of his normal nighttime operations…

\---

The sun had finally set, and the courtyard had emptied. Operation Collection had left only a few hours ago, having the most people and thus needing more time to set up. Operation Sting had left even earlier; Token had chatted with his fellow Clerics before they had left, the group opting to set out while the ranks of Operation Collection were being formed. Smart guys, getting out of the way of the overzealous newbies. Craig had spent the majority of time waiting for the other two groups to leave outside of the walls of the courtyard, sparring with Clyde. Many of the other vets had joined them, either creating their own sparring groups themselves or hanging around and talking. Now that both Operations were gone, however, Craig had gone back inside to help Token with clean up. Slowly but surely, the other members of their operation had rejoined, and now Craig, Token, and Clyde were standing on the wooden stage, looking down upon the small group of vets.

“Mmhm,” Token cleared his throat. Craig had convinced him to be the one to give the required speech, being better at public speaking then himself. Craig didn’t think they even needed a speech though; the King had been generous enough to give them only experienced members, they didn’t need a call to arms.

“Our goal is to destroy a band of rebels that are hiding out in the woods of South Park, nothing more, nothing less,” Token paused, raising his eyes from the paper he was holding, glancing around the warriors.

“After that, we can all come back and go to bed, sound good?”

A murmur of approval rose from the crowd, and Token nodded.

“We will be traveling as one group, led under the Assassin Craig Tucker, secondary commander has been chosen as Armory Advisor Clyde Donovan,”

A group of Clyde’s armory buddies cheered, and Clyde gave them a smile and a thumbs-up.

“I will be the main healer, so if you get in trouble please don’t hesitate to call, however I am aware some of our warriors have been briefed with basic healing spells?”

Heads nodded as Token raised his eyebrow.

“Good, very good. That seems to be about it, we should be done by morning, don’t do anything stupid.”

Token threw the paper over his shoulder, the list dissolving into ashes as Token put a burning curse upon it. Craig felt a smile pull on his mouth. For as calm as Token was, even he had a bit of a flare for the dramatic.

“Let’s do this!” Clyde yelled, thrusting his shield into the air. Everybody cheered and began following the three to the exit of the courtyard.

The trek to the woods took them through the streets of South Park. Craig had obviously passed through these roads before, recognizing street names and shop signs, but he hadn’t actually walked among the common people in quite some time. While he was in no way, shape, or form, anywhere close to royalty, he wasn’t exactly a normal person either. He was a Royal Warrior, sure just one out of the many thousands, but a Royal Warrior nonetheless. He didn’t pay for his meals, he didn’t change his own sheets, he didn’t fight with his own weapons.

Craig was so caught up in his own thoughts he jumped a bit when Clyde put his hand on his shoulder. He looked at his friend, confused as to the random touching, until his eyes found what Clyde was looking at.

Park Lane.

Oh, oh, ok, yes, ok.

Craig shook Clyde’s hand off of his shoulder, throwing a glare at his friend. Clyde didn't say anything, just gave Craig a soft glance and continued walking.

The clip of feet on stone soon turned into the soft padding of grass as Craig's band of warriors exited the Western gate. The moon had finally risen and painted the ground with little spots of white light, making the walk through the forest seem like a walk through the stars. Craig had always had a bit of a fascination with the stars, and often joined the astronomers up in the towers when he had extra time throughout the week. Token had borrowed some great books for him from the library, and now he knew about 13 constellations by heart. Craig knew that if he was given the time he could memorize the whole book in a week, but he was a Thief after all, and thieves are supposed to steal at night.

“I heard that the Evergreen mercenaries are coming today.”

Craig turned towards Token’s voice, assuming the black boy was talking to him. Clyde’s face was hard to make out in the dark, but Craig could see well enough to watch as he began to speak to Token.

“Really? I thought they were coming next full moon.”

“They were supposed to, but something pushed them up a cycle.”

The moon was currently at its third quarter phase, Craig noted. Token and Clyde’s voices reached Craig’s as soft whispers, the delicate breeze dissipating much of the volume. Craig felt the cold air move the bits of his black hair that were sticking out of his hat, and as he tucked them in he noticed how the rustle of his hat matched the rustle of the grass. Looking back at his men, he noticed that they had all spread out a bit, making groups amongst themselves. All of their voices blended into a soft mumble that spread throughout the forest air, not loud enough for enemies to hear, but loud enough to make Craig feel like he was a part of something. In fact, as he watched an Archer duck behind a tree as a Mage flicked a small fire spell at him, Craig did feel like he was a part of something. Not something large and grand like the mess at the Courtyard, and not something poor and downbeat like the cracked streets of the outer city, but something much more quaint and personal. He felt especially comfortable as he watched Token and Clyde chat, smiles resting on both of their faces. Craig didn’t show it much, if at all, but he cared about both of the men walking behind him, and he was glad they seemed to get along as well.

“Evergreen, they aren’t known for anything in particular, right?”

“I don’t believe so,” Token answered to Clyde, his face squinting a bit in concentration.

“They haven’t won any wars recently, though they haven’t lost any either. I can recall one or two Great Warriors that hailed from Evergreen, but there was no trend between them. Craig?”

“Hmm,” Craig hummed, wracking his own brain for facts on Evergreen.

“Nothing I can think of.”

“There must be something good about them,” Clyde commented, skipping a bit as he accidently tripped on a tree root.

“They’re having a meeting right now with the King.”

“How do you know that?”

“Scott was telling me about it in the Armory. Apparently some kind of battle happened in the streets and now the missionaries aren't too happy. They’ve rallied around some Paladin and are bargaining for higher wages.”

A fight in the streets? Craig hadn’t heard a word about this. He felt his face scrunch in irritation.

“Why don’t they tell us these kinds of things?” Craig asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

“To try and stop people from panicking, I think. We aren’t struggling or anything, but I still think some people would get freaked out if they realized our new mercenaries didn’t wanna be mercenaries anymore.”

Token nodded.

“Clyde’s right, King Cartman isn’t interested in keeping us informed. His rule has never been based on knowledge, always on timing.”

“And that stupid princess,” Craig added, getting a chuckle from Token, but a confused look from Clyde.

“I don’t get why you’re always harping on the princess, Craig, she really seems to like you. If you got on her good side you could be a prince someday.”

“That’s so-”

Crash.

A loud noise brought Craig’s entire band to a stop. The comfortable murmur died in an instant, and distant sounds of battle filled the silence. This was confusing, they should still be quite a ways away from the rebel base.

Lifting his hand, Craig waved his pointer finger once. On the command, his group rallied around him in their basic formation. Warriors in front, Mages in the middle, Clerics in the back. Their one archer took to the trees, careful not to rustle any leaves.

“AAAAAARGH!!!”

A loud screeching erupted from what sounded like a mile away.

“Let’s go.”

Craig’s band of warriors started running towards the noise. Craig was sure it couldn’t be the rebels, but that screech had sent straight adrenaline through his veins. He wasn’t sure if his body would’ve allowed him to ignore the noise. His feet felt as if they were carrying him by their own, and as they got closer to the source the sound of battle got louder, and louder, and louder…

Until it stopped.

As Craig and his band entered the opening, he was surprised to see that no battle was taking place. In its place, however, was something much, much worse.

Corpses were shrew about the opening, flies swarming around the open gashes in their stomachs and necks. Dried blood made the grass underneath them brown, as well as random branches and leaves, little splatters of the brown indicating the blood had spouted quite far from whoevers stab wound it had come from. Other corpses hung from the trees, their necks black and blue from the crudely spun rope, some of their eyes still open, gone completely white. The fence posts were the worst though. On the peak of every fence post sat a corpse, their faces still wrought with horror, their lower halves completely mangled from being forced down upon the post, very clearly whilst still alive.

Craig had never seen anything so disgusting. He was too stunned to throw up, as many of his comrades did, including both Clyde and Token, the fresh vomit looking suspiciously like what was dried upon one of the other corpse’s shirts. This corpse was sat at a bench, slumped against a table. The table had an axe sticking out of it, and as Craig inched closer to it, again, as if being guided rather than actually making the choice to get nearer, he realized that the axe was sitting between the corpse and what was presumably his hand, the stump of his arm the same brown the rest of the corpses were covered with. 

“What the fuck? What the fuck is this?”

Clyde stumbled to his side, a bit of vomit still on his chin. Craig could only shake his head, his mouth was too dry to speak. He could feel his heartbeat in the soles of his feet, urging him to run, like the voice said, to get away from this murder porn. A scene like this one was so intense, the only cause that Craig’s brain could begin to comprehend was some sort of twisted, carnal, vicious pleasure.

“Run.”

Craig spun towards the new voice, his blood spiking even higher than it was before. 

“Run.”

The man looked identical to the corpses that surrounded them, only he was standing and speaking. A large chunk of his stomach was missing, and the wound pulsated as he spoke. His hair was coated in dried blood, and his eyes looked like they were bleeding.

“It’s a trap.”

“W-what?”

“It's a tra-”

The man’s words got cut short as an arrow pierced him from behind. The air went silent once again as he fell to the ground, revealing the figure that stood behind him.

Still holding the bow up, there stood a blonde boy. His hair was sticking up a million different ways, he had elaborate war paint twisting around his naked torso, and his hands were trembling. But his eyes, his eyes were the most interesting part about him. They were emerald green, as deep as an ocean, as round as the sun, and as blank as a canvas. His eyes bore into Craig, suspending time, leaving no room for air.

They were the eyes of a barbarian.

“Attack!”

The command left Craig’s mouth before he had time to think.

Barbarians began jumping out from every direction possible, engaging every one of Craig’s men. Arrows began whizzing by overhead and screaming began to fill the air once again, but none of this bothered Craig.

Because those eyes were still staring at him.

The blonde hadn’t moved an inch, even with all of the comotion flying around his head, his bow was still held in its shooting position. The barbarian hadn’t even knocked another arrow or anything, he just kept staring at Craig.

His eyes held pure disgust.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

The screech was ungodly. The barbarian began barreling towards him. His legs stomped on either side as he ran, his head jerking from side to side, his face twisted into a howl. 

He looked like a demon.

Craig pushed down his overwhelming sense of panic, grabbed his daggers, and engaged.

The barbarian swung and swung again with his club, never losing pace, always pushing forward. Craig’s legs burned as he continued to jump back and back, his legs burning, his legs burning, the club swinging, again and again, always pushing backward, still swinging. Craig’s heart dropped as the club slammed into his right arm. He felt himself let out a howl as he dropped his knife, his entire arm burning. The burning kept searing as the barbarian lifted his club for attack. He was on the ground now. Craig swung with his left dagger, felt the breaking of skin, and quickly pulled it back the other way. The barbarian now had a V-shaped wound spilling blood down his side, but the cut wasn't deep enough. The club fell upon his left arm once again, and he screeched as he both heard and felt all of the little bones in his hand shatter on impact.

All around him the battle raged on. Royal Warriors continued to fight Barbarians, and continued to lose. All around him Human bodies began falling into place, dear comrades he had been jogging along with only minutes ago, taking their places. Barbarians fell too, and if Craig had been able to think straight he would have realized it was just as many. But Craig wasn’t thinking straight. No one who was thinking straight would have called out “RETREAT!!!” in the middle of a battle.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”

The demon above him screeched again and grabbed the sides of Craig’s clothing, pulling him up and slamming him against a tree. Craig’s world went dark for a second, but unfortunately it came back twice as bright as he barbarian shoved his face into Craig’s, huffing, his hot breath making Craig’s eyes water even more.

“Monster,” the barbarian growled, the hatred in his eyes mixed with the adrenaline of battle. Craig was surprised he didn’t drop dead at that glare.

“My Prince!” another barbarian called out to the blonde one, before his throat was slit by a sword

Prince.

“You’re the monster,” Craig gurgled through blood.

He clapped his hands over the barbarians ears, chanted the fire spell Token had taught him, and watched as the blonde’s eye rolled into the back of his head.

Prince, Prince, Prince.

Craig chanted that word to himself as he dragged the body off, into the river and even deeper into the woods.

Prince, Prince, Prince.

Off they went, farther and farther away from the battle, farther and farther away from the wreckage.

Prince, Prince, Prince.

The woods got darker, they kept going deeper, it kept getting darker.

Prince, Prince, Prince.

Craig tied his hostage up before collapsing next to him, not even bothering to flinch as his broken hand hit the ground.

I captured a Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ho ho holy shit. idk why but i posted the extended summary and already got kudos? i'm confused but thankful, hopefully this actual chapter is as good as my summary. probably not tbh  
> if i'm being honest theres a lot i know i could do to make this a million times better, but i'm the kind of person who would mull over a chapter so long id never post it, and since i'm trying to break that habit, its just gonna go up. it sounds like an excuse (which it is) but hey whats it matter in the end we all die alone :)


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